Mothers Have Needs Too!

Allison Gilbert, LMFT, Santa Cruz Counselor Lic: MFC 24087

Admit Your Faults

Mothers Make Mistakes
Do you sometimes feel like you're doing everything wrong, your kids are going to suffer and you shouldn't even be a mother?  It's not uncommon to have those feelings from time to time.  Life is far from perfect.  Human beings make mistakes and suffer sometimes.  Our kids will get hurt and there'll be nothing we can do to protect them.  Hard to accept, but all of this has nothing to do with whether you should or shouldn't be a mother.

Learning Curve
Why do we assume we should make everything OK at all times for ourselves and for our children?  The job of being a mother is like every other job in that it has its ups and downs, a learning curve, and tasks we like and tasks we don't like.  The difference is that the job of a mother trains us to be a better human being.  If we're already doing things perfectly, how can we strive to be better?  It's important that sometimes, everything is not OK.

Kids Need to Make Mistakes Too
You are a role model for your children.  Teach them how to make mistakes, have faults admit them, apologize and grow from them.  Let your children know that you aren't perfect and that they don't need to be perfect either.  Let them know that life isn't supposed to be perfect but that we are all striving to become better human beings and that when we do, we make this world a better place.  They will feel safe even with imperfections because they'll see you recognize your mistakes and do repair work.  They'll enjoy knowing that whatever they mess up, they can attempt to clean up too.

It's About Growth
Admit your faults when you have them.  This job can take you to the depths of your pain and lift you to the greatest heights you can reach as well.  You don't have to be perfect but you can learn how to better yourself.  You can always be more giving, more loving, more organized, more disciplined, more patient, more of just about anything.  But don't let that make you think you're not right for this job.  Instead, know that this is exactly why you have this job.

2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips

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There is no more important work than the job of nurturing children.

Kids thrive when Momma's happy.

Get some care for yourself by speaking with a therapist.

You will feel renewed and have more energy to mother with love.

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 Quotes from Satisfied Mothers:                                                                                                                                          

 "Allison, you were a lifesaver. I hope you don't mind my rhapsodizing about your help, but I am still incredibly grateful to you for helping our family in our time of need, and so I will continue boasting about how awesome you are to just about anyone who will listen."-Mother of a preschooler and a newborn

"Thanks for everything. You have been such a great  help! My husband told me that he thinks this is the best we have ever done."  -Mother of a preschooler and a toddler

"I love getting your emails, Allison!  Keep up the great work!" -Mother of elementary school children, who also owns an online business