Mothers Have Needs Too!

Allison Gilbert, LMFT, Santa Cruz Counselor Lic: MFC 24087

Love Yourself

A Mother's Love
I don't know about you but when my first child was born, I couldn't believe the amount of love I had for him.  The love was so grand and immense, it filled my heart to bursting.  I couldn't stop looking at him.  Even today, when he's 13 years old, I just stare and he gets uncomfortable so I have to look away.  I can't show you what my daughter sent me today (an email card) since it's no longer posted.  She only sent me a card, not a very big deal and she didn't even write much, but after receiving it, I couldn't stop smiling and marveling at the adorable little being she is at age 9 1/2.

It's so easy to feel loving toward our children.  A mother's love for her children runs deep because it's part of nature's plan.  It's the love that helps us get through the toughest times as a parent.  The love doesn't even go away when the kids make me mad.  Oh, it may go away for a short time, but it comes right back.  It's a love unlike any other I have ever experienced. 

Loving Ourselves
Most mothers will be able to feel love for their children but have the most difficult time loving themselves.  Do you have a difficult time loving yourself?  If it's hard for you to care for yourself and make decisions in your own best interest, or if it's hard for you to know your own worth, then you may need to learn how to love yourself.

Practice Loving Yourself
If you know how to love your children but don't know the first thing about loving yourself, the love you have for your children can be a guide.  Here's a strange tip, but it works.  Imagine kissing your child.  See it in your mind's eye and step into your body, looking at your child through your own eyes, bending down and giving a kiss.  Next, imagine you are still looking through your own eyes down at yourself from above and imagine kissing yourself with the same love as you do your child.  You can do it all in your imagination.  Rise above your head, see yourself below and bend down and kiss your own forehead, as you would kiss your own child.  Feel how precious you are.

Practice that scene in your mind's eye every day, as often as you can remember it.

Love Your Child, Love Yourself
You may begin to realize that the very quality you love about your child is the very same quality that makes you, you.  And then it comes as no surprise that your child is so lovable.  Your child, unlike any other being in this world, came from your body.  Your child is a part of you walking around outside your body.  Where do you think your child's preciousness came from?

2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips

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Kids thrive when Momma's happy.

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 "Allison, you were a lifesaver. I hope you don't mind my rhapsodizing about your help, but I am still incredibly grateful to you for helping our family in our time of need, and so I will continue boasting about how awesome you are to just about anyone who will listen."-Mother of a preschooler and a newborn

"Thanks for everything. You have been such a great  help! My husband told me that he thinks this is the best we have ever done."  -Mother of a preschooler and a toddler

"I love getting your emails, Allison!  Keep up the great work!" -Mother of elementary school children, who also owns an online business