There is the body, the soul, and then there is the essence. If the soul is light, then the essence is the source of light. If the soul is energy, then the essence is the generator. It is not something you have. It is who and what you are.
Whatever we do, we dance around that essence-core, like an orbiting spacecraft unable to land. We can meditate, we can be inspired—but to touch our inner core, the place from whence all this comes, that takes a power from beyond.
That is why there are seasons in life empowered from beyond. Special days and special nights, times of crisis and times of joy that touch the core. At other times, you can step forward. At those times, you can leap into a new form of being.