Mothers Have Needs Too!

Allison Gilbert, LMFT, Santa Cruz Counselor Lic: MFC 24087

Schedule It In

Not Enough Time
When you're the mother of very young children, you're stretched to your limit.  Then, just when you find a moment for yourself, your husband or your older kids ask when you'll have time for them.  It's incredibly overwhelming.  This is why scheduling specific days in your week or month to spend time with each family member works well.  If you don't schedule these times, they may never happen.

Time for You
The most important family member to schedule special time with is ♥you♥.  You won't have anything to give to any other relationship if you don't make time for yourself.  Schedule yourself in at least once a week - though once a day is even better.  When is the best time of day or week for you to take a break?  Is it after bedtime or in the morning before everyone's awake?  Is it on the weekend?  Find a time and schedule it in and keep that appointment with yourself regularly.

Keep Your Marriage Going
It may seem unromantic to schedule special time with your husband but it is just as important as scheduling time with yourself.  Mothers spend 24/7 in intense physical contact with their young children, cuddling, nursing and carrying.  By the time you spend a moment with your husband, you may be all "touched out".  If this is a source of friction in your marriage, try scheduling a specific day and time once a week for sex and/or for a date.  It's not spontaneous to do things this way, but it can take pressure off the rest of the week, knowing you have this time set aside.  Make a weekly appointment to do those things you both enjoyed doing together prior to having kids - it's vital to the health of your relationship.

Dividing Your Attention
Sometimes children feel they don't get the attention they need due to the needs of the other siblings.  Scheduling a once a week or month date with each of your kids works well for mothers who can't seem to find enough time for everyone.  Your kids can look forward to some one-on-one with mommy, knowing you've got a specific day/time carved out in your schedule just for them.

Your Relationships Matter
Make a habit of putting yourself, your husband and your kids into a weekly or monthly schedule.  Otherwise, you may never find the time for the most important people in your life.

2007 Allison Gilbert, M.A., L.M.F.T.; Free Tips

free hit counter javascript